I will not miss: Enormous vehicles

If you drive this vehicle, I assume you have a tiny penis.

The average person does not need to own a big truck. I understand if you are a farmer, logger, contractor, construction worker, plumber, painter, landscaper, forest ranger, or some other job that actually requires you to carry shit or navigate mountains on a daily basis. Otherwise you are just wasting space and gas. Personally, I hate big trucks and SUVs. It makes me physically angry when a tricked out duel wheel Ford-450 with stacks accelerates beside me and a big cloud of black smoke bilges out. The worst part is, sometimes guys will rev the engine really loud to get your attention at a stop light or cross walk. Has that ever worked? Has a successful date ever resulted from this move? Nothing could turn me off more.

I have NEVER seen so many HUGE vehicles as in Lubbock. I was seriously overwhelmed by the number of ridiculously big trucks when I first moved here. My Saturn is dwarfed in Lubbock. My friend Hannah had to wait almost a month for parts to have her Prius fixed. Every road, street, and parking lot is crammed full of massive SUVs and trucks. Especially in the evening in Tech Terrace. The streets are relatively narrow so when students' X-Terras, Pathfinders, Silverados, Navigators, King Ranches, Expeditions, GX460s, X5s, Tahoes, and Cherokees are parked on both sides (and often poorly parked two feet away from the curb), there is barely one lane down the middle. You have to dodge and

Apparently the sign said "Asshole Parking Only"

weave between parked cars and driveways. That is only the half of the parking issues. It is
unbelievably common to see an over-sized pick-up truck taking up four, yes, FOUR parking spots! What kind of dick move is that? I swear I could keep likeaglove_official instagram running with photos from Lubbock alone!


And of course, everyone has to have the Texas Edition. I'm not really clear about what the Texas edition actually is? Some automakers like Toyota build all their pick-ups in Texas so they have that claim to fame. According to Chevy, the 2014 Silverado Texas Edition, "adds 20-inch polished aluminum wheels, a trailering package, locking rear differential, body-color outside mirror caps and door handles, and Texas edition badges." As far as I can tell, though, the Texas "option package" really just involves paying like $3,000-$4,000 more for a shiny chrome decal. I would like to know what the Texas Edition of the 1999 Saturn SL would look like.

The thing is, the majority of these "off road" vehicles have never seen a drop of dirt or an ounce of work related to the purpose for which they were designed originally. Especially among spoiled-rotten students. Their Hummer will never go through a mid puddle, let alone leading a convoy through the desert. These vehicles are just toys and status symbols and statements. The environmentalist in me hates seeing huge unnecessary vehicles driven a protest against renewable fuel conservation. Just because we live in Texas, it doesn't mean we should waste our resources. Believe or not, daily life can be completed in a smaller car and they are bigger than you think.

I know that there are trucks and SUVs all over the country, but I will not miss the ridiculous number of enormously large vehicles in Lubbock.